Draupadi - Action Prevails Emotions

The woman of Kaliyuga…. before the Kaliyuga descended

One of the few very clear memories I still have of my childhood is when my mother was feeding me lunch and we were happily chatting about Mahabharata. While talking, I said ‘when I grow up, I want to become Draupadi’. She yelled at me ‘pagal ho gayi ho kya?, kuch bhi bak bak karti ho. Khana khao chup chap’. I was taken aback by her sudden anger. Barely 7-8 years of age, I didn’t quite understand the reason for her annoyance, then. Today, after decades I certainly do.

Indeed, I do understand, why a mother wouldn’t want her daughter to become Draupadi or even get closer to what she suffered. All said and done, she was the heroine of the one of the only two greatest epics of the country’s history – Mahabharata.

Interestingly, she is also referred as the woman of Kaliyuga…. Yes and that too before the Kaliyuga descended upon the mankind. Unfortunately (or fortunately), she was to be the wife of 5 men – The Pandavas. Her marriage to the five brothers was accepted by the society (privileged, may I say that!) Though there were some rules set in marriages, she had the opportunity to indulge in diverse relationships throughout her lifetime, without being guilty of cheating or infidel.

She could be the wife of the righteous Yudhishthira the most virtuous and enjoy discussions on laws, policies, morality and wisdom; or be the wife of the mighty Bheem and get all her wishes fulfilled and completely pampered. She could likewise dwell in the honour of being wife to the greatest warrior Arjun, or the most attractive and charming Nakul and the most knowledgeable Sahdev. Every year, would bring her a new experience and learning in addition to a different experience in bed.

I wonder if concepts like ‘7-year’ itch existed then, even if it did, it wouldn’t have mattered to her. Didn’t she had everything a woman can desire? However, inspite of all that, she still craved for Karna. Yes, it was her decision to refuse to accept him as a suitor at the swayavar and put the garland in Arjun’s neck (who was disguised as a Brahmin then). Later on she agreed to play the spouse of 5 men and even then desired Karna. Why?

Not to forget, she had best friend in Krishna too. Krishna loved her, she admired him. Krishna protected and guided her, she trusted him blindly (perhaps more than her husbands). She remained loyal to her husbands, physically, however could never give her heart to anyone of them. She loved the man who allowed her to be shamed in front of the public. Why?

What is it that her relationships or marriages lacked? What is it that pulled (rather pushed) her towards Karna, who was a sworn enemy of her husbands? What is it that she thought Karna could give her that her husbands could not? Did she feel Karna was capable of loving her more than her husbands did?  Did she regret her decision of rejecting Karna?

After years of reading different versions of Mahabharata, which helped me understand diverse perspectives, I believe Draupadi was a person of strong character. She knew how to achieve all that she desired, be it a small unique golden lotus flower or revenge from the Kauravas, then what would have made her step back, if she really desired Karna?

She has more than any other women of her era could dream of yet her desires saw no limit.

Does this describe the common human nature of ‘the grass is greener on the other side’? Perhaps she desired him because, she knew she could not get him. Maybe it was the feeling of not achieving something, which attracted her towards Karna. Or was it merely the guilt of rejecting him in front of the entire city?

Unless we taste a fruit, we do not know, if it’s sweet from inside or just has the ripe look from outside. It is that greed, which keeps us unsatisfied and wanting for more. Was it the same situation with Draupadi? Whatever, it may have been, she was strong enough to keep her desires to herself and stick to the rules and laws restricted by the society.

This, according to me, is a great example of having a total control over emotions and actions. Well, one may find it difficult to control his/ her feelings, thoughts and even emotions, but one’s actions are always in his/her hands.

We cannot bind our thoughts, but can certainly stop ourselves from becoming slaves of our thoughts!!! 

Picture courtesy Google