An old story
lost in between the pages of my diary (Fiction)
The orangish red sun rise in the early morning; the music of the tiny little creatures getting ready to fly out to work; the sweet smell of my blossoming pink rose; the dancing green trees; the cool breeze that sings when it feels my window. Oh! I am going to miss you all. It's taking me away from you. I do not want to leave you, but it's taking me away. It's AIDS!
Few months back, the first time I got my Blood tested and things turned out as they were never expected to. Since that day, I have received multiples of mixed reactions. The very first reaction was from me. 'Oh shit, I am a still a virgin, right?' the first thing my mind questioned me, when I heard the doctor giving the four-lettered conclusion to my life. Well this is how, we usually think, (let's face it). How glad I felt, after donating Blood for the first time, as anybody else would after acting generously. It was a contented feeling then to have helped someone. But unknowingly the instrument utilized, the syringe, left behind this dreadful virus in me giving me a new name, HIV positive. I had heard about this earlier that some voracious people re-pack and re-sell the thrown away syringes in the market. Could they risk somebody's life just for some money? Yes, they have already endangered my existence, preparing my death bed.
Death, so untimely! I have just completed 21 years of my life and there's so much to do. I still have to get married. Experience the bliss of motherhood. My career has just started. Wish I could have seen my career soaring! How could I die so early, when I have so many accomplishments to achieve? Why is my life coming to an end so soon when I have just started living it?
Mom always preached me that 'do good to others, God will be good to you'. Also, I have always believed and followed that 'if I am right to others they will not be wrong to me'. Then why .. Me? For me, my glass is neither half-empty nor half-filled. It is always full, if half with water then the remaining with air. Perhaps, HE is short of kind and lovely people like me up there! Ah, I am prepared for anything now, truly anything.
Just one disgusting word was enough to change my entire life and others reactions and behavior towards me. Many new instances came across me, for the first time.
Another most awful incident of my life was to break this news to my friends. Obviously, no one in their worst dreams would have ever thought of this. When I told my best friend about it, she instantly pulled her hand back which was holding my arm softly till the four-worded monster scared her. I smiled dryly but my heart ached. She knew I wasn't lying. I could have never done that. We sat looking at each other for quiet some time and she just walked off. Yeah! My best friend, but, don't know why, I wasn't shaken at all. Somewhere, I was expecting it. Later that night she called me up and we talked for more than an hour. And yes for the first time she didn't worry about her prepaid balance. Now that surprised me!
When I broke this terrible news to him, he for the first time slapped me, so hard. But it didn't hurt me at all. The agony within me was much more than that on my face. Both of us broke into tears. He kissed my forehead and hugged me like never before, holding me very tight in his muscular arms, as if never letting me go away from him. I too, for the first time felt so protective and secured. It was then I realized that he loves me so much and doesn't want to lose me at any cost. The entire evening neither of us talked, just listened to each others heartbeats.
The D-day was nearing and nothing else but my family's cheerless appearance made me realize that again and again. Now this was something that made me feel uneasy. For at least first two months, every time I looked at mom, her moist eyes made me go dull and dad's drained tone made me feel more exhausted. Perhaps later they become conscious and started behaving normally. Mom who keeps on chanting some prayers every now and then is suffering more than I am. My dad who is in anguish every minute has conversed with every doctor possible and 'jyotishi maharajs' also. I know that sounds silly, but he just did not wanted to leave any stone unturned. They both just make me feel so precious.
I always knew it but never realized that everybody loves a lot and I am so important for them. Love exists all around me! Who would ever want to leave all this and go? I do not wish to go away. I am not sure if an equal amount of affection, warmth and care will exist up there. I want to be with them, my mom, my dad, my friends, my love and my people down here. But I know now nothing on the earth can stop me now. I'll have to go, and I know they all will miss me a lot. And I'll miss them too.
It's taking me away. I do not want to, but it's taking me away...
The orangish red sun rise in the early morning; the music of the tiny little creatures getting ready to fly out to work; the sweet smell of my blossoming pink rose; the dancing green trees; the cool breeze that sings when it feels my window. Oh! I am going to miss you all. It's taking me away from you. I do not want to leave you, but it's taking me away. It's AIDS!
Few months back, the first time I got my Blood tested and things turned out as they were never expected to. Since that day, I have received multiples of mixed reactions. The very first reaction was from me. 'Oh shit, I am a still a virgin, right?' the first thing my mind questioned me, when I heard the doctor giving the four-lettered conclusion to my life. Well this is how, we usually think, (let's face it). How glad I felt, after donating Blood for the first time, as anybody else would after acting generously. It was a contented feeling then to have helped someone. But unknowingly the instrument utilized, the syringe, left behind this dreadful virus in me giving me a new name, HIV positive. I had heard about this earlier that some voracious people re-pack and re-sell the thrown away syringes in the market. Could they risk somebody's life just for some money? Yes, they have already endangered my existence, preparing my death bed.
Death, so untimely! I have just completed 21 years of my life and there's so much to do. I still have to get married. Experience the bliss of motherhood. My career has just started. Wish I could have seen my career soaring! How could I die so early, when I have so many accomplishments to achieve? Why is my life coming to an end so soon when I have just started living it?
Mom always preached me that 'do good to others, God will be good to you'. Also, I have always believed and followed that 'if I am right to others they will not be wrong to me'. Then why .. Me? For me, my glass is neither half-empty nor half-filled. It is always full, if half with water then the remaining with air. Perhaps, HE is short of kind and lovely people like me up there! Ah, I am prepared for anything now, truly anything.
Just one disgusting word was enough to change my entire life and others reactions and behavior towards me. Many new instances came across me, for the first time.
Another most awful incident of my life was to break this news to my friends. Obviously, no one in their worst dreams would have ever thought of this. When I told my best friend about it, she instantly pulled her hand back which was holding my arm softly till the four-worded monster scared her. I smiled dryly but my heart ached. She knew I wasn't lying. I could have never done that. We sat looking at each other for quiet some time and she just walked off. Yeah! My best friend, but, don't know why, I wasn't shaken at all. Somewhere, I was expecting it. Later that night she called me up and we talked for more than an hour. And yes for the first time she didn't worry about her prepaid balance. Now that surprised me!
When I broke this terrible news to him, he for the first time slapped me, so hard. But it didn't hurt me at all. The agony within me was much more than that on my face. Both of us broke into tears. He kissed my forehead and hugged me like never before, holding me very tight in his muscular arms, as if never letting me go away from him. I too, for the first time felt so protective and secured. It was then I realized that he loves me so much and doesn't want to lose me at any cost. The entire evening neither of us talked, just listened to each others heartbeats.
The D-day was nearing and nothing else but my family's cheerless appearance made me realize that again and again. Now this was something that made me feel uneasy. For at least first two months, every time I looked at mom, her moist eyes made me go dull and dad's drained tone made me feel more exhausted. Perhaps later they become conscious and started behaving normally. Mom who keeps on chanting some prayers every now and then is suffering more than I am. My dad who is in anguish every minute has conversed with every doctor possible and 'jyotishi maharajs' also. I know that sounds silly, but he just did not wanted to leave any stone unturned. They both just make me feel so precious.
I always knew it but never realized that everybody loves a lot and I am so important for them. Love exists all around me! Who would ever want to leave all this and go? I do not wish to go away. I am not sure if an equal amount of affection, warmth and care will exist up there. I want to be with them, my mom, my dad, my friends, my love and my people down here. But I know now nothing on the earth can stop me now. I'll have to go, and I know they all will miss me a lot. And I'll miss them too.
It's taking me away. I do not want to, but it's taking me away...
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